First Things First

Hi, there.  Thank you for visiting and reading my Blog! I'm writing this in conjunction with the launch of my company, lovelymanners.

My intention in this blog is to comment once a week on modern day
circumstances I encounter in which "manners" play (or should play) a role.  I'll give tips regarding manners - not always obvious - that will help everyone involved feel comfortable.

Last year I trained at the Emily Post Institute and one of the most interesting things I learned was that Emily Post wrote her first etiquette book specifically for the immigrants flooding into the US in the early 1900's. Contrary to what people really think, Emily Post did not write her famous etiquette book for the NYC social elite! And it was never written to be a rigid code of manners.  She wrote her book for the masses congregating in American cities because it helped people understand in very practical terms how to act in ways which would help them to begin to form relationships with their new neighbors and colleagues. This growing American Middle Class now lived in very close quarters bringing together their different customs from all over the world.  There was no one standard that they all knew, and an authoritative guide was what everyone was looking for.  Emily Post wrote her book in 1922 and it quickly became the second non-fiction best seller after the Bible! (Seventeen Editions were printed over the next 85 years.)  People knew that to achieve their American Dream, they needed to understand how things worked here.  And throughout her book, Emily repeated that the most important thing was to treat all people with kindness and in an ethical and fair way - and this was just as important, if not more important, as knowing good manners.  Emily Post once said, "Whenever two people come together and their behavior affects one another, you have etiquette."  So think about etiquette not as a strict code of manners - but instructions to help all of us get along with one another.  Just like 90 years ago, etiquette is still a tool you can use to build great relationships.

So, here we go....just before Christmas my husband and I and another couple took our older sons to an infamous concert in Madison Square Garden called the "Jingle Ball".  We bought really good seats "for the kids" in the 6th row - and I thought it was going to be all about my son having a good time.  After all the teasing I give my kids about "today's music", I had one of my best nights EVER - six rows away from Katy Perry, Bruno Mars, Taio Cruz, Enrique Iglesias, Michael Bublé and others performing their current pop hits - one pop hit and one pop star after another - I danced all night long; and I think we, the parents, showed up on the Jumbotron screen dancing more than our kids did!  Needless to say, I had a blast!  So, here's the manners part. We were on the end of a row, and as people inside our row would leave and return during the evening, I wished that they knew the right way to pass someone in a row of seats.  Here's what you really should do:  First, say, "Excuse Me" to the person on the aisle and then to each person down the row while moving as quickly as you can to your seat while facing the FRONT - that is, TOWARD THE STAGE.  Do you know why? Because if we're talking about making people feel comfortable, if you trip or stumble you will be able to hold on to the back of the seat in front of you and fall toward the seat.  If you were turned around the other way, you could fall face-forward into a stranger's lap! Yes, this means showing your backside to each person in the row, but think about the alternative! (Also, if you're the one sitting, it's easiest to turn your body sideways with your knees facing the way the person is heading - often much easier than even standing up to let the person pass.)

So that's something to remember when you're at the movies, in the theater, or at an amazing concert! Pass with your backside.

I'll continue with new situations and manners each week. Until then, just remember manners are tools you use to show consideration, honesty, and respect. So if you don't know what to do in a certain situation, try to think what kind of behavior would exhibit those three values and you'll figure out the right "manner!"

Please pass this blog link around to friends, colleagues - anyone you think might benefit.  And you can subscribe to it with your email so that my blog comes to your inbox when I post.  Also check out my website at www.lovelymanners.com for my manners placemats which will be available soon! They'll be on sale on my website and in stores.

Jill :)